i wonder why we fear
fear that is not justified
for cause that is not wrong
fear of rejection is so strong
fear of defeat is painful
that fear lurks all around
such feeling is so profound
when so much is evident
should we console ourselves
how do i take refuge?
why am i even feeling so down
what i had planned, what happened?
how can i move on? for i should
why does my mind wander over?
i have lots to think about
i have tonnes to do today
and still not much about
so many questions unanswered
how can i move on? for i should
what am i to feel
what am i to think?
i just realized a fact
one which pains so much
one that i cannot share
so confused have i been left
it's funny how life works
you have half of what you want
but more than what you deserve
life plays never fair
did you feel wronged?
welcome to the club!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
the electronic machine called computer
Staring at this monitor, I feel like taking a hammer and slowly breaking down the keyboard, monitor and everything related to the computer into the smallest possible form, as close to their molecular form.
The crazy thing has actually driven us nuts. Sedentary life, and aching eyes is a daily routine. Is this what we get after studying for years? Gradually on the ladder to success as we are, this has become such an integral part of our lives that a day without checking your mails feels like eternity. Who knew we would be reduced to weaklings? The medium of my blog and my forum is also the medium for my misery. A computer is something without which I cannot live. It is something that I hate too. I cannot tell you how sick I am staring at the monitor. I cannot tell you how much I want to buy the latest PC on the market.
I am listening to Coldplay and this is probably the only thing stopping me from picking up my chair, swinging it across the desk. Who would have thought I would wanna break this stuff down so badly.
Some days when you are really thirsty, and you get to gulp down a glass of cool water, you feel as if you have attained nirvana. It is the feeling I might have when I turn my head away from the monitor. But I cannot afford to miss out a simple word of mine while typing this blog. Would it not be better that one could do all the work and still not hate this awesome machine.
I know that many people have written about this machine and on the same lines, but what the hell, I will still type out the whole text for those who care to read.
Today it has been a record 10 hours + that I have been staring at the monitor for the purpose of work. Though one day in college a few years back I had watched 7 movies in a single day. I think that day I may have been in front of the monitor for close to 15 hours. By the time I went to bed, my head hurt as if a rock fell on it, but who cares? I got something I can boast about. Right?
So now I wonder when I would get to go home. Sitting and waiting aimlessly in front of a monitor is something many of us do to kill time while waiting for someone or something to be done. Well that’s what is expected of us. You cant be roaming around your office. Our boss will keep that in mind once your appraisal is round the corner. But if you are at your computer terminal, then who cares if you work or not. They should feel that you work.
I know one thing, when I get back home, I will switch on the computer, watch a movie or download some song, probably chat with a friend. And then forget that a computer is making a mess of my life.
To all those who agree with me, cheers to nothing and cheers to everything that this machine helps us do.
The crazy thing has actually driven us nuts. Sedentary life, and aching eyes is a daily routine. Is this what we get after studying for years? Gradually on the ladder to success as we are, this has become such an integral part of our lives that a day without checking your mails feels like eternity. Who knew we would be reduced to weaklings? The medium of my blog and my forum is also the medium for my misery. A computer is something without which I cannot live. It is something that I hate too. I cannot tell you how sick I am staring at the monitor. I cannot tell you how much I want to buy the latest PC on the market.
I am listening to Coldplay and this is probably the only thing stopping me from picking up my chair, swinging it across the desk. Who would have thought I would wanna break this stuff down so badly.
Some days when you are really thirsty, and you get to gulp down a glass of cool water, you feel as if you have attained nirvana. It is the feeling I might have when I turn my head away from the monitor. But I cannot afford to miss out a simple word of mine while typing this blog. Would it not be better that one could do all the work and still not hate this awesome machine.
I know that many people have written about this machine and on the same lines, but what the hell, I will still type out the whole text for those who care to read.
Today it has been a record 10 hours + that I have been staring at the monitor for the purpose of work. Though one day in college a few years back I had watched 7 movies in a single day. I think that day I may have been in front of the monitor for close to 15 hours. By the time I went to bed, my head hurt as if a rock fell on it, but who cares? I got something I can boast about. Right?
So now I wonder when I would get to go home. Sitting and waiting aimlessly in front of a monitor is something many of us do to kill time while waiting for someone or something to be done. Well that’s what is expected of us. You cant be roaming around your office. Our boss will keep that in mind once your appraisal is round the corner. But if you are at your computer terminal, then who cares if you work or not. They should feel that you work.
I know one thing, when I get back home, I will switch on the computer, watch a movie or download some song, probably chat with a friend. And then forget that a computer is making a mess of my life.
To all those who agree with me, cheers to nothing and cheers to everything that this machine helps us do.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Road Non-sense
Yesterday while attempting to cross a road, I realized that the cars which were waiting at the red light were revving up their engines even before the light turned green. I had not crossed the road when the desperate drivers started driving ahead as soon as the light had turned green. I was somewhere in the middle of the zebra crossing when a bike rider sped from in front of me. Another SUV whizzed past me from just behind me. The next thing I know, that even before I had reached the pavement, cars were rushing all around me. Luckily I was not run over, but I had cars running al around me. Why is the average Indian driver desperate to speed ahead? I don’t think all of them are running late for work, besides all this happened in the evening, so I guess majority of them were basically driving to home. So why are they always in such a hurry? I drive sometimes, but never with the desperate need to run over a pedestrian.
Another thing that I noticed is, in the last one week, I have witnessed at least one accident every day of the last one week. The accidents vary in intensity, degree of damage, location etc. but yes accidents everyday. I won’t be surprise d if the police brought out a report informing that the number of accidents is on the rise. Well if people are so desperate to rush to their destination, then the accidents are bound to happen.
I carpool with someone from work (well not exactly pool, but depend), anyway, today a reckless bike rider hit the car and rushed away. He didn’t even bother to stop. A few days back a minivan driver driving a commercial vehicle rammed a colleague’s car from the read. The impact was forceful enough to leave a huge dent in the rear of the car of that colleague. Both the car drivers got out of their cars to discuss, but the minivan driver rushed away the moment he got a chance. Of course he had to. He was driving a cab. The driver probably had no intention of sticking around till the police came. My colleague though complained to the police, but is not hopeful for any damage compensation from the cab company. Why should he? The way road accidents and road rage goes in India, the police have too much on their plate to even bother to look for reckless drivers who have only caused minor damages. The police might not bother unless there has been some death in the accident, or may be some hot shot politician/business man with links starts pulling strings. The police won’t bother unless the car is a luxury car and the car owner is adamant about getting the compensation.
The roads of India (even in the best of the cities) do not have proper zebra crossings, proper traffic signals. Forget the surveillance cameras that the Americans and Europeans have along their roads, our roads don’t even have proper directions. It is sad that even after over 60 years of independence and after having among the highest rates of development in the word (we stood next to china at close to 8.5%); we are still laid back, unconcerned about lives of others, at least on road, and will probably be know as the reckless Indians for along time.
Should I have learned the way of road life here? Should I have started driving recklessly like those who almost ran over me yesterday? Earlier I used to drive with good traffic sense, and used to be concerned about other people on the road. But I think I need not anymore.
Another thing that I noticed is, in the last one week, I have witnessed at least one accident every day of the last one week. The accidents vary in intensity, degree of damage, location etc. but yes accidents everyday. I won’t be surprise d if the police brought out a report informing that the number of accidents is on the rise. Well if people are so desperate to rush to their destination, then the accidents are bound to happen.
I carpool with someone from work (well not exactly pool, but depend), anyway, today a reckless bike rider hit the car and rushed away. He didn’t even bother to stop. A few days back a minivan driver driving a commercial vehicle rammed a colleague’s car from the read. The impact was forceful enough to leave a huge dent in the rear of the car of that colleague. Both the car drivers got out of their cars to discuss, but the minivan driver rushed away the moment he got a chance. Of course he had to. He was driving a cab. The driver probably had no intention of sticking around till the police came. My colleague though complained to the police, but is not hopeful for any damage compensation from the cab company. Why should he? The way road accidents and road rage goes in India, the police have too much on their plate to even bother to look for reckless drivers who have only caused minor damages. The police might not bother unless there has been some death in the accident, or may be some hot shot politician/business man with links starts pulling strings. The police won’t bother unless the car is a luxury car and the car owner is adamant about getting the compensation.
The roads of India (even in the best of the cities) do not have proper zebra crossings, proper traffic signals. Forget the surveillance cameras that the Americans and Europeans have along their roads, our roads don’t even have proper directions. It is sad that even after over 60 years of independence and after having among the highest rates of development in the word (we stood next to china at close to 8.5%); we are still laid back, unconcerned about lives of others, at least on road, and will probably be know as the reckless Indians for along time.
Should I have learned the way of road life here? Should I have started driving recklessly like those who almost ran over me yesterday? Earlier I used to drive with good traffic sense, and used to be concerned about other people on the road. But I think I need not anymore.