The "Lists"

During college, my Facebook wall used to be filled with posts from parties, vacations etc. Soon after college, the Facebook feeds were mostly matrimony ones. And lately, it has been the Attack of the “Lists” and Candy Crush. I will talk about Candy Crush in my next blog post, but today, let me focus on the “Lists”.

Recently I have seen a surge in the number of “Lists” that Facebook users share on their profile. When I say, “Lists”, I refer to links that read something like - “14 Reasons Why Mumbai is The Most Amazing City in the World” or “13 Reasons Why Indians Can’t Live Without Maggi" or “15 Frustrating Things Skinny Girls Go Through In India”.

Most of the time, the link leads to “scoopwhoop.com” or ""wishpicker.com" and a few other websites. I confess that I have frequently clicked on the link to check out the “List”. However, like Candy Crush invitations, these “Links” are appearing way too often and it seems that now, they are just spam. I wonder how people get time or ideas to create a new list. I am not a keen reader of books, a habit that I am now trying to build, but with the advent of Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites, people are not sure, what else to share (or create).

However, while I acknowledge that going through these lists is interesting at first, I cannot overlook the fact that these lists are now popping up for pretty much every possible scenario. A few examples -

* 12 Signs Of A Girlfriend From Hell

* 13 Reasons Why Being A Tall Girl Is Not As Easy As You Think

* 11 Things We Go Through While Preparing For Entrance Exams

* 16 Life Lessons You Can Learn From Stray Dogs

* 16 Things You Experience At Your School Farewell

* 10 WTF Indian Ads That Redefine Badvertising

* 14 Signs That Show You Are A Royal Enfield Fanatic

*     ……..

*       ….

And these are names are just what I got off the homepage of scoopwhoop. Since these “Lists” have been created by users and not by the website scoopwhoop, they obviously are not the ones to blame. But unfortunately, I have got so bored of the lists, I have literally stopping clicking these links.

I fear that if people run out of ideas, there is a possibility that the following may be prospective 'Lists' -

* 10 Sign that your are a kleptomaniac
* 12 places where you would not mind taking a leak
* 17 reasons why you should not stick your nose in someone' business
* 13 reason why it is fun to fart in a crowded bus
* 18 different poses of Saddam Hussein
* 23 reasons why I should punch you in the face
* 19 steps to pick your nose and stick in someone's food (I know... disgusting)


A sincere request to those who create (or share) such lists, please take this in a sporting way, cause I would not want to be in someone's Hit List

Gender bender situation?

I normally hate reality television. I find it absurd and melodramatic just to gain those high ratings. However a friend of mine who seems to follow some of these shows told me about this program called Emotional Atyachar, where they focus on couples in a relationship and their fights. My friend specifically spoke about situations where relationships were going great and one partner wants to break away completely. The funny aspect that my friend told me here was that it is the women who usually break up the relationship than the men. I shared my opinion that most likely the guys must have been jerks who may have been harassing the girl and hence the girl may be forced to break up the relationship. I happen to be an old school kinda guy. If in a relationship, both the partners are treating each other well, there shouldn’t be much of a reason for them to split. Obviously I am assuming that there are no external factors such as social pressures.

But in this reality television, the main reason for breaking up the relationship is loss of interest. One partner (surprisingly mostly women) just lose interest. This breakup is nothing to do with one partner cheating or beating the other (tried to make it rhyme you see!!). Loss of interest or finding another better looking partner, doesn’t seem like a likely scenario. And that’s where my friend told me I was wrong. She told me that this happens in real life more frequently than one would like to admit. She even shared examples from among her friends on the college campus.

With no intension of offending the fairer sex, I am a bit taken aback by the change in the relationship dynamics these days. I always considered that with the criticism and the flak that men receive, usually they are the guilty ones in a relationship. They are the ones who are likely to cheat or take the relationship for granted, but my friend told me it’s the other way round also pretty frequently.

Based on what I have personally seen recently, I can hardly argue with my friend. But at this point, I would like to question both the genders out there, “Is it justified that even after all this, men are the ones to usually get the blame in a relationship?” OR, “Why are the adjectives MCP – Male Chauvinistic Pigs, reserved for just one gender?”

Google and devine presence

Meeting rooms are always a source of new ideas for me. I get to hear people talking about work, about personal life about so many different things. It gives you a perspective. Plus, unlike standing in a public place eavesdropping on other people, in meeting rooms, you belong. At least physically.

I overheard my colleague talking to someone by the name Dharmic, and she went like - "Dharmic, we will investigate...." I only heard the first 2 words, but it seemed as if she is talking about some Dharmic investigation. Quite an unlikely combination of words. I have never read or heard such words together.. Imagine overhearing phrases like, "Divine investigation", "Dharmic Investigation" etc. it sounds unnatural. You could hear "Devine intervention", but never "Investigation".
However, "Dharmic investigaiton or "Devine investigation" could simply mean investigating the devine forces or the dharmic karma. someone who is on the quest for divine leanrings but has a flair for adventure and ends up investigating instead of pursuing the answers of the universe. I think once I am old and more learned and probably seeking spiritual answers, I would simply say, I am chasing answers or investigating answers of the universe. It gives me the opportunity to be quirky and a bit .... 'different'

In the same meeting, people were discussing about finding answers to excel related errors.. and the most common way people end up finding these answers is through Google search. entering different combinations of text in the search engine, till they get their answer. one cant help but think that, if God doesn't answer your questions, font lose hope, at least Google can answer your queries.

One of my friends from college had once put a message on facebook, "Completing MBA is a matter of using the right combination of key words in Google search" (or something similar to that)..

At the end of the day, I cannot ignore the fact that Google is now an integral part of our lives. I cant imagine a life without cell phones or google. I can still imagine a life on another planet.

Tracing my love for SUVs

My fascination with SUVs can be traced back to 1993, when I saw the movie Jurassic Park with the Jeep Wrangler. The open top Jeep Wrangler has been my favorite four wheeler ever since. The way it handles itself in rough terrain, oh I just fell in love with it. The Jeep Wrangler has come in many movies and used in all sorts of action scenes. However, I never liked the long wheel base version of it.

Gradually I got hooked on to the Maruti Suzuki Gypsy when I was a kid and used to see my dad drive it in Manipur. That was an Indian version of the tough Jeep that goes anywhere. And, oh, even in Bourne Supremacy, the Gypsy is driven by Marie through the field when running away from the assassin.

In late 1997, I saw the movie Jurassic park 2, with the Mercedes M class with it's raw power trying to pull the trailers falling off the cliff. That was one heckafa scene. 

In 2006, the movie blood diamond had a scene where a convoy of relief workers gets ambushed and one of the vehicles is a Mitsubishi Pajero carrying Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Connelly and Djimon Housou is also hit. DiCaprio takes over and drives the Pajero out of the ambush. That was another scene where I was awestruck by the handling of the Pajero. (I hate the design of the new Pajero Sport).

It is obvious that when it comes to SUVs , I have always loved the nimble, agile ones. But I can't dismiss the fact that I have also been liking the heavy monstrous ones like the Chevy Tahoe. The main reason being - Most movies and TV series have the Black Suburban / Tahoe as the main SUV for the government agencies. I was never interested in the Hummers or the pickups like the Ford F series, Ranger etc.

In India, the closest match has been the Ford Endeavor and I used to like the older one (shown below), and not the new facelifted one (not worth showing here).


With the Indian public going crazy over SUVs and sales numbers for Renault Duster, Ford Ecosport & Nissan Terrano are a strong indicator of the SUV appetite. I still do not like any of these SUVs. My dad likes the Duster for the imposing stance, which I do acknowledge is fine. I would never be able to enjoy an SUV which does not have a powerful engine. And no, anything around 100HP is not powerful. I need an SUV to have close to 140 BHP. The only SUV under Rs15 Lacs to have power similar to this is the Tata Safari Storme (at 138BHP) or the Mahindra XUV 5OO (at 140BHP).

However, I do not associate these 2 SUVs with the words 'nimble' or 'agile', though I like the fact that they seem like SUVs (and not soft roaders) and come with at least 4X4 option .  Unfortunately the build quality of a Tata or a Mahindra is extremely disappointing.

And ofcourse, I do not find the Duster, Ecosport or the Terrano to be agile either.

The soft roaders (compact SUVs)- Duster, Terrano, Ecosport are the ones that just give you some road presence without actually having any off-road presence. (Forgive me if I do not acknowledge the offloading events organized for Duster owners recently). Let me confess something.. A few years down the line, I might end up buying a soft roader too. With passage of time, I feel that I might not be going for Offroad events - for lack (or unaffordability) of a proper off-road SUV (like a Wrangler) and also lack of that fondness for offloading. It is quite likely that in the last 8 years, the 2014 Auto Expo would be the first one that I would probably skip, despite being in Delhi at that time, a painful realization for me (I always thought of myself as an automobile enthusiast, or at least an amateur automobile enthusiast).

I guess, with passage of time, one loses the interest in those fantasy thoughts that once were there for the younger me. I often wanted to drive an agile (or a strong heavy) SUV over rough terrain. Maybe a few years down the line, I might end up buying an old Pajero

the complete airport experience

Airports are great places to see peculiar people. I flew from Hyderabad to Delhi today and throughout the journey I found very ......well, funny situations.

Most of us would have either already seen or been part of the desperate queue that gets formed at the time of boarding as soon as the boarding announcement is made. I have actually seen people run to form the queue. I'm a bit surprised as to why people not realize that once you have a boarding pass, its quite unlikely that the airplane with takeoff without you. The ground staff usually is desperately trying to find the passengers left behind. But while I make fun of the situation and how so many of us behave, I need to acknowledge that sometimes it helps to be quick in boarding the aircraft. So many times I have faced a situation where I'm among the last few people to board and there is no space in the overhead storage areas. This brings to light another nasty habit of us Indians- we travel heavy. Even men.
The same habit of ours continues when the aircraft lands. Everyone gets up from their seats and desperate to de-board. (in all fairness, I have seen the same thing on a Delta flight from Detroit to LAX.)
However, the same habit of rushing to get on or get off continues with the buses. So today while boarding the bus from the airplane to the terminal I was in the queue and about to board the bus just when two short and heavy ladies rushed from my left and right sides and struggled on to board the bus. I was a bit taken aback by the "ambushing" body language. But then I have learnt to let it go.
Well, these buses also usually get overloaded with people squeezed together. But then I can't blame the airline for saving the bus trips. Its a cut throat world and cost is all that counts.

In the bus I happened to stand next to this guy who was playing subway surfer on full volume. The same guy had really weird ringtones for his whatsapp messages. And then he started singing some song in a very low tone. Talk about crammed spaces and etiquettes.

well this brings to an end to my airport experience where I was shifting between getting irritated and finding these same irritating things funny.
Since I'm not out of the airport yet... I may still come across more such funny situations. But for now, let me post this and hail a cab.

Posted from my Windows Phone

An insight into what makes the the great Indian Weddings...Great

We Indians love our families, we love our country (I think so) and we would die for our booze. I went to a wedding recently. I had been so closely involved in a wedding only after a very long gap.
Booze can come in many shapes and sizes (of the glass you pour it in).
As part of pre-marriage day ceremonies, booze is poured in normal glasses. I know that because I had a glass of whiskey and a little bit of vodka during one such ceremony. During late night gossip sessions, booze can go into any container, such as steel glasses, coffee mugs, soup bowls. I know that because I saw some people sloshed one morning next to the new found utensils just before the wedding. I wonder how many of the pre-marriage day ceremonies have booze that gets popped open post mid night in the quiet corners of the guesthouse for relatives.
Booze often gets sneaked into the actual Indian marriage ceremony where it is frowned upon to drink. But don't worry, once you are drunk, you wouldn't even remember that old man or old lady frowning on you. (BTW, try not to throw up at least on the lucky new couple).
Another interesting place where one can find booze is usually in the trunk of a close relative of the groom. (A few years back I had one shot of whiskey and dont remember what happened for the rest of the night). A close relative of mine told me that this "Tradition" of serving the groom's side of relative s the booze right out of the truck of a car is called "Car-O-Bar". The trunk gets popped open only when the Baraat reaches the venue. I wonder if I can start a business of supplying booze in the middle of the night to the groom's best man. They are known to be forgetful and forgetting booze is not forgivable in such occasions.
A close friend of mine (who I refer to as the Enfield guy), recently purchased a lot of booze for the cocktail party. He had gathered close to 25 large bottles for some Whiskey, 14 bottles of Vodka and 10 of Old Monk Rum. At first I was shocked on hearing this, but then I realized, free booze is devoured by many. And on top of that, this booze needs to be served during all the 4-5 days of the marriage related events. So I guess, he was being conservative in estimating the booze consumption. After discussing with me the estimated consumption, the next day he went back to the wine shop to gather more stock.
Now remember, we have already covered booze in Pre-Marriage day ceremonies, during the marriage ceremonies, and now comes the post the marriage ceremony. During the reception, there is an open bar, and here, no one really judges you if you get sloshed, but it would be appreciated, if you don't thow-up on the new couple, or hit on the close friends/sisters/cousins of the Bride or Groom for that matter.
And if you happen to travel in groups to any of the venues, the journey itself is made interesting if you have the company of Bag Piper. (Bas aap,main aur Bagpiper).
All in all, its part of 'Tradition' and it would not be justified if I dont honor such a tradition. So my friends and family, don't forget to invite me to your weddings. Even we would like to share your "Happiness".


FYI, the above text has very minute resemblance to what I actually saw. Some parts are purely for the purpose of making this 'illustrative'

How Indians can change the impact of a simple idea

So I saw this video recently (Youtube Link), which talks about how a simple idea of helping people find parking spots is making waves in South Korea.
Honestly, I think it was a very good idea and initiative that is helping the planet save on fuel consumption, help reduce the inconvenience to people. And hence overall a novel idea. I have faith that there are always people who might be able to come up with an idea that can help in the "Greater Good". Apologies for the cliche.

However, I wonder how this situation would have turned out in India-

Scenario: A major petrochemical company (HPCL/BPCL/IOCL) puts these balloons at different parking spots.
1) People would park so wonderfully that they would end up pushing down 2 balloons - hence probably occupying 2 spots.
2) If a family drives and occupies that spot, then the balloon gets taken away for the kid. Its the birthright you know.
3) People would start placing bricks to demarcate their parking spots. Conversations would go like- "Hey, I had my brick placed there. That spot belongs to me. You wanna take it, you gotta come and fight for it."
4) A "Poor" man would want to make his "Living" (with a Budwiser?) - I am sure the balloons would be taken away in less than 24 Hours and would be sold roughly 20meters away (or if they are bold enough, right at the same spot).
5) India has a lot of entrepreneurial spirit. Indians love to monetize on resources that don't belong to them. Be it illegally encroaching land, footpaths, taking away anything of value as long as it is on the open. Some random group of people would make it a business and start charging people a "nominal fee" for parking in the "New and Special parking Lot" even if the Petrochemical company would have arranged this for free.
6) A few teenagers would probably run around the parking lot bursting the balloons to see who brings down the most. (Though I guess this one can happen in any country)
7) Uhh... I think I'm unable to figure out other possibilities of how Indians in general would have made this initiative worth nothing....

Am I being too negative and judgmental of my own countrymen?